It is so important!! Please listen carefully to her!

Magda Kay: A Call To All Man: Please Understand A Woman’s Sexuality Is Her Most Vulnerable State.

It’s so different than yours. You give, she is the one who receives it. She takes you into her body.

So if she asks you to slow down, or not to go all the way – honor that. That voice is coming from deep inside her. It is not the voice of rejection, of manipulation or of being cold.

Please don’t take these as a personal rejections and shut down. She is asking you to help her open up. This is a gift, not a slap in your face.
Please see the beauty in her opening up, slowly, like a flower. Don’t push her. Let her unfold in her own time.

In his second book, photographer Ralf Mitsch investigates another subject that has fascinated him for most of his life. Puzzled by the overwhelmingly negative messages in the mainstream media about the erotic industry and the people who work in it, he decided to talk to people who have chosen a wide variety of ways to embrace eroticism in their life and work, and truly love what they do.
Over 50 people from all walks of life contributed their portraits and stories to the project. Mitsch wants the book to create awareness about the positive, life-affirming side of the erotic industry, and help shift people’s perceptions.
Why I Love Sex is a must-read for anybody who doesn’t work in the industry.

whyilovesex.com

“As early as 1952, Czechoslovak sexologists started doing research on the female orgasm, and in 1961 they held a conference solely devoted to the topic,” Katerina Liskova, a professor at Masaryk University in the Czech Republic, told me. “They focused on the importance of the equality between men and women as a core component of female pleasure. Some even argued that men need to share housework and child rearing, otherwise there would be no good sex.”

Agnieszka Koscianska, an associate professor of anthropology at the University of Warsaw, told me that pre-1989 Polish sexologists “didn’t limit sex to bodily experiences and stressed the importance of social and cultural contexts for sexual pleasure.” It was state socialism’s answer to work-life balance: “Even the best stimulation, they argued, will not help to achieve pleasure if a woman is stressed or overworked, worried about her future and financial stability.”

Source: Why Women Had Better Sex Under Socialism – The New York Times

Did the project make her think differently about men? “Yes, there was a feeling of falling in love with men. It was really lovely.” A couple of months before she started Manhood, Dodsworth split up with her husband, the father of her two sons. “So there was something interesting about going through the process of separation and divorce from somebody I’d been with for 20 years, then meeting 100 men and stepping into this very intimate conversation with them all.”

What surprised her most? “A lot more men feel a sense of shame or anxiety about their size, or an aspect of their performance, than I would have thought. What really moved me is how much that shame and inadequacy had bled into different parts of their life.” She says many were teased as children about their penis and never recovered from it.

Source: Me and my penis: 100 men reveal all | Life and style | The Guardian

´Always wanting sex is the mark of manliness for many.´  – It is always interesting to see how conditioning works. But it´s even more interesting to be able to see, reflect on, and understand how it works in our own personal life. What does sex mean to me? Being a man or a woman, doesn´t matter. Right now, in this very moment…

That´s why it was worth reading a man´s opinion on male sexuality. I would be curious about other personal views, stories on the same topic…

´From the time I was a young I learned that wanting sex was synonymous with being a man. In high school I remember overhearing a girl I liked talking about a guy we both knew. She wasn’t complaining that he was preoccupied with sex, but that he “didn’t come on to me like other guys do.” She went on to tell her girlfriend, “He’s not being very manly.” The message was clear, “real men” want sex and if you don’t “come on” to a girl, you’re not a real man.This early lesson was validated through the years: Always wanting sex is the mark of manliness for many. It’s better to be turned down again and again and be seen as a jerk who is totally preoccupied with sex than to want something more than sex and be seen as “less than a man.”

Always wanting sex” is part of the male persona we wear to show we’re manly. What we really want is a safe harbor where we can take refuge, relax, and be cared for. In other words, we want the feeling of being nurtured that most of us didn’t get enough of when we were children. But admitting these needs makes us feel like little boys, not big strong men. Better to be manly with our sexual desire and then once we’re inside her body, we can relax, be ourselves, and be infused with love. That’s the hidden desire we have when we have sex.´

continue to the article…

While many women are self conscious about their bodies, feel too fat, or don’t like certain body parts, it could be safe to say that nearly all women feel embarrassed or ashamed about their bits “down there.”  They certainly don’t seem to imagine their female parts as being beautiful. But one woman decided to try and change this.

Marije Janssen´s Platform voor seksualiteit

Mijn missie
Iedereen beleeft zijn seksualiteit anders. Wat ons verbindt is dat seks ons allen in de kern raakt, het vormt de essentie van wie we zijn: vrouw, man, homo, transgender, biseksueel, jong of oud. Onze seksualiteit is intiem én publiek tegelijkertijd. Dat vraagt om een persoonlijke benadering. Mijn benadering is die van de dialoog, om kennis te vergroten, taboes te doorbreken en mensen/groepen te emanciperen. Een open gesprek haalt de verschillen niet weg, maar maakt ze wel begrijpelijk en zorgt voor betrokkenheid.

´- Mom. I have to tell you something. I am black. – Whaaat? No. Just´cause you´ve been hanging out with black people! They twisted your mind…!´

It´s hard to give better example. Wanda Sykes is just hilarious.

Source: Wanda Sykes: I’ma Be Me – Gay vs. Black – YouTube

We have just finished watching The Young Pope from Paolo Sorrentino where a mysterious painting catched my eyes. Jude Law, playing a great character as the young Pope, in front of this painting keeps contemplaining about the existence of God, the duty of the Catholic Church, about love, in one word, doing his regular job as a head of the Church.

The painting: Jusepe de Ribera: Magdalena Ventura with Her Husband and Son, 1631; Naples, Italy.

I have never seen or heard about this Ribera painting. It seems not only outstanding with its topic but the way  how he portrays Magdalena Ventura, the bearded woman is amazing. I am not sure if Ventura was a ´hero´ of gender fluidity of her age – as The Guardian refers – but this picture definitelly worth it to think about.

Gender is a fluid concept in the 21st century. Male and female are ceasing to be conceived as binary opposites. Categories of sexual identity are complex. But when Magdalena Ventura posed to be portrayed by Jusepe de Ribera in 1631, the world was in theory a much simpler and more stable place. In that age men were men and women were women – or were they?

The inscription calls Magdalena Ventura a “great wonder of nature”. That says a lot about how she was seen. Ventura crossed boundaries and broke down categories. Today, we might see this as a conscious and radical defiance of oppressive norms. In the 17th century it made her a curiosity, perhaps even a monster.

Ventura is a fact. She is real. Here she stands. In her absolute originality, Ribera sees not just some freak of nature but the wonder and enigma of individuality itself. Magdalena Ventura broke every law of her world – and Ribera immortalised her for doing so.

Source: The Bearded Woman of Abruzzi | The Guardian